내 여자, 꼬봉이(My Girl, Bong-Soon)

 

#1.

 

“Ha, honey…”

The man’s lips covered hers, and the woman’s lips glistened as the man’s saliva coated them.

The man’s tongue was like a snake responding to the sound of a flute as it poked its head out of a jar, or in this case, lips. Then, it immediately found its way into her mouth.

The cunning snake wandered all around in search of her tongue until it finally found it and wound itself around it. The woman breathed in.

This is supposed to be thrilling. Shouldn’t it feel like sparks are flying between their bodies? But it was not thrilling, it was rather uncomfortable. There were not sparks flying, but saliva instead.

Instead of adjusting to the woman’s speed, the man began roughly kissing her as if he  had started an engine fueled by his own passion. He stepped on the gas pedal as if he was a  racer, sucking on her lips and letting out a rough breath.

The aggressive racer raised one hand and grabbed her breast urgently. It seemed like he had forgotten he was test-driving a new car.

At first, the new car was trying to see if she was a good fit for the racer’s body and she tried to adjust. But when the racer increased his speed without any forethought, the new car felt uncomfortable.

“Oh……”

But she had promised to offer her virgin body to her master, the racer.

 

Fine, let him have it. Go ahead and touch my breasts. It’s not like they’re going to disappear if you do. My body will return to dirt once I die, I don’t know why I lived as a virgin until now. Let’s just give it all. Hurry up and give it all.

I’m sick and tired of living as a virgin at the age of 28.

But as always, the man’s touch and body movement felt disgusting, scary, and terrifying like a sly snake.

Sigh. Is today a failure too? Will I never be able to escape my status as an ice princess trapped in an ice castle?

There are no improvements in my  reactions, because my body still seems to freeze like ice as soon as a man touches me.

The words of a self-proclaimed “dating expert” and my childhood friend, Yoo Ji-hee, suddenly popped into my head.

“First, you need to decide if you’re just going to have sex with a man, or if you’re going to keep him as a boyfriend. If you’re just going to sleep with him, hurry up and get it done. But…if you’re going to keep him as a boyfriend, then try to delay sleeping with him for as long as possible. Until the man’s heart is 100% yours, delay the sex. On average, if you sleep with a man too early, the man loses interest quickly. Remember that what I’m saying is based on statistics, so there may be an exception.”

 

I don’t know, Ji-hee. I don’t know if I want to offer my pesky virginity to this Finger Man or if I want him as a boyfriend. No, I don’t even know if this man wants me as his girlfriend.

I always have to contact him first before he decides to make a rare appearance.

Doesn’t that mean he doesn’t want me as a girlfriend?

At that moment, I heard Ji-hee’s voice as if it was a voice from the heavens.

 

“If a man is interested, he’ll always call first. But if a man doesn’t contact a woman unless she calls him, then it means he’s not interested.”

 

“H-Honey… I don’t think this is going to work. Let’s call it a day.”

According to the wise words of the dating god, Ji-hee, when you feel like today’s not the day to be with a man, then tell him, “Let’s stop here today. I’m not ready yet.”

“Honey… I’m not ready yet…”

The excited Finger Man was kicked out again before he was even able to touch the woman’s dress zipper today.

This made it his third out. It was three strikes. Time for a change.

“Again? How long are you going to tease me? You drove me crazy. Don’t you see my body right now? Do you think a man can easily suppress his instincts? Does it look as easy as memorizing the multiplication table for 2? I won’t let you off the hook today, let’s go all the way.”

Ji-hee, refusing a man isn’t as easy as memorizing the multiplication table for 2, either. What should I do?

The woman racked her brain through all the dating advice Ji-hee gave her.

 

“Your last resort is crocodile tears. When a woman’s crying,, a man’s thing can’t remain… well, actually, it can remain up. But if he still shoves his excited thing into you…then he’s either a man crazy about sex or a pervert. Cry, if you really want to avoid the situation.”

She did her best to cry. Let’s think about my first love. I can’t cry.

Let’s think about the time Mom kicked me out of the house barefoot because I didn’t say hello to the lady next door. This isn’t making me cry either.

Then…let’s think about that guy, no, that devil who tortured me so much as a kid that I became traumatized… Sigh, just thinking about him makes me want to throw up.

Trying to cry was  harder than memorizing the multiplication table for 9. Actors who are able to cry prettily within 10 seconds are people who deserve immense respect. From now on, I’m never leaving a hate comment.

Then, I have only one last thing up my sleeve. Not blinking my eyes. I will keep my eyes open even when they are stinging from the dust.

It seemed like the physical method worked best for the woman, as she expected.  Her eyes  were soon filled with tears from the dust.

“Honey…”

Finger Man, who had found her side zipper, froze at the sight of her red, tear-filled eyes. When he was released from the ice magic, he found a cigarette and headed to the terrace.

The woman quickly zipped up the side of her dress.

When he was exploring her body , he acted like a man who was desperate to have her. She hated the man for never contacting her first though.

She was always the first one to call or message. Although some may call her brave for contacting him first, it was actually hurting her fragile pride.

Naturally, the man never asked her to date him either.

The sight of his fancy finger movements as he strummed his guitar at a jazz café had her enamored, so she approached him first. She thought, “He’s the guy. The one I want to give my first.”

She thought he would be able to melt her ice-like body with his fingers that looked like they were on fire as they were strumming the guitar. That’s why she gathered up the courage to approach him first.

But the only thing that she got in response to her courageously approaching him was lust. He acted like a man who was only after her body, and everything he did seemed to reflect his intention. Whenever she met him, he only wanted to meet at each other’s houses, motels, or bars. But still she continued these pathetic encounters.

Maybe for that reason, her heart was having hard time finding an answer on whether to keep this man as a boyfriend or someone to give her virginity to.

But this man was not good enough for her virginity. His fancy fingers were meant to play instruments,  not pleasuring a woman’s body.

Her body still refused the man and at the critical moment, her body grew cold.

She broke up with her long-time first love because of this same annoying reason, and her second love also left her because he couldn’t overcome this obstacle. Many men who flirted with her were discouraged at this point, too.

That’s how she ended up living as a sacred virgin at the age of 28. Her body that refused to listen to its owner was part of the problem as well as  a man who only wanted her body.

 

After exiting the motel, the Finger Man suddenly disappeared after claiming that he had “some urgent business” to attend to. He was gone with the wind.

‘I can’t believe the way he’s running off. No wonder I  didn’t want to sleep with you!”

At that moment, dating expert Ji-hee’s name appeared on her phone. After texting her “MT” when she was entering the motel, Ji-hee had not replied to her. But Ji-hee called her with impeccable timing, as if she witnessed what had just happened.

“Hey, Ji-hee!”

Ji-hee responded with her usual greeting that she used instead of the normal ‘hello.’

You didn’t sleep with him, did you?

What an amazing girl. How does she know everything? Does she have an illegal security camera on my body or something? Actually, I guess it’s obvious. It would be impossible to succeed at something out of the blue when it’s been impossible for the last 28 years.

“I didn’t sleep with him. I couldn’t. My body refused to cooperate. It was so scary. You seem to be enjoying this when you’re the one who urged me to lose my virginity soon.”

It’s funny. But I don’t think that Finger Man was the right guy, he’s too much of a player. In my opinion, he just wanted a one-night stand with you. But it would be traumatizing to have your first as a one-night stand, your body and heart would both be in pain. So…don’t do it with him. He’s not the guy.

“I can’t sleep with the guys I like or one-night stands. This is so hard. Don’t you think if I just lose my virginity overnight somehow…it might be possible to sleep with a man I love?”

If you sleep with any guy like that from the start, your life will go downhill. Do as I say.

“You’re the one who said a man would find a 28-year-old virgin to be too much pressure. Don’t you remember?”

That’s why you were all for me losing my virginity.

You took that literally? What I said depends on the man’s preferences and depth of emotions. If he’s a man who appreciates and loves you, then he would say, “Thank you.” But if the man’s just a player who’s only interested in sex, then he won’t be so appreciative. He would feel pressured to take responsibility for you since he took your virginity. Or he would see you as a less attractive woman because he would wonder if there was not a man interested in you until now.

“Then what should I do? I’m turning 30 years old next year. Actually, I’ll be 29 years old.”

Despite her age, Bong-soon had been unable to accept the physical advances of any man, including the men she loved, men she was interested in, and men she flirted with. So, getting rid of her virginity was like an assignment she wanted to get over with. She hated that her body grew cold in front of any man’s passion.

Ms. Ko Bong-soon. Why are you in such a hurry? For situations like this, you should be even more careful and take the long way. There’s a reason why people say that. They are words of wisdom that are the result of long periods of patience and endurance. So, let’s take some time and think about it

Jeez… Will I ever be able to escape the endless cycle known as my childhood best friend, Ji-hee?

Bong-soon. More importantly, you’re going to tomorrow’s school reunion, right? They’re kids from Sun Elementary and Middle School. Go get yourself an elite guy, stop getting caught up losers like the Finger Man.