Top Star, Itself

Top Star Itself

Chapter 1

I am standing on the stage.

The lighting is shining only on me.

The vast audience spread in front of my eyes.

Soon, a cheerfully energetic voice follows.

“Ladies and gentleman.  Today, Mr. Ji-hoon Seo is with us at last!”

The audience shouts and applauds thunderously.

The voice continues with fervent zeal.

“Many words describe Jihoon Seo.  These days there is only one word to describe Mr. Jihoon Seo.  Do you know what that is, Mr. Seo?”

I want to answer, but my mouth does not open.

Of course, that’s natural because this is a dream.

On top of that, this is a horrible recurring nightmare.

“That is right.  Top star!  The name Jihoon Seo itself means the top star!”

His voice is, as always, cheerful.

However, in contrast, my mood is rotten because I know what comes next.

”Isn’t he an icon of hope?”  The voice continues,

“You overcame hardships in the past before becoming a star, didn’t you?”

Now it is the time for the dreadful story to come out

“You lost your parents in a fire and were raised alone by your grandmother in the slums.  You had to drop out of middle school and even give up on your dreams to become an actor.  How did you overcome all your hardships?”

The audience becomes totally silent.

The lighting on me changes its color to red, and the gazes from the people turn instantly from warmness to contempt.

The sneering voice continues quietly.

“You can’t answer that because you actually have not overcome anything.  Isn’t that the truth?”

The audience starts to boo.  The light switches off, and the stage floor crashes down.

This part is where I hate the most in this nightmare.

What awaits me is a horrible fire as I plunge into it right in the middle.

Quickly, the hot red flames swallow me whole.

“……!”

My eyes popped open wide.

My whole body was drenched in a cold sweat.

Fuck!  I was wondering why I didn’t dream this recently.

I couldn’t be that lucky. 

That one just now is a nightmare that I regularly dream that I can't shake off.

Although I practically have memorized the whole content each time

I still wake up bewildered, feeling traumatized.

I kicked the blanket off me and stood up.

Gulping down a cup of lukewarm water, I walked over to the bathroom.

Sadly, the contents of the dream were mostly true.

My parents died in a fire accident, trying to save me.

The grotesque burn scar on my face is from then.

It is also true that I lived with my grandmother in the slums.

She passed away a few years ago, so I am now completely an orphan.

It is also true that I dropped out of middle school.

It couldn’t be helped because I had to make a living.

It is a dream that clearly reflects my reality in many aspects, except about being a top star.

I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflected face.

“Top star, my ass.”

Bushy, overgrown hair, sickly pale complexion, and bags under the eyes are my charms now.

The highlighting feature is a severe imbalance on one side of my face from the left cheekbones to the neckline, where ugly distorted skin is all sagging.  Children cry when they see me, and people cringe at my face.

The mirror reflected a hideous monster.

I knew I could never become a star, let alone a top star. 

“Well, but how lucky I am to have been one in a dream.”

I know very well why I was dreaming nightmares of being a top star.

I used to be a child actor and a pretty popular one at that.

I stepped into the entertainment field at a young age, led by my parents.

Thus, I got a head start to polish my acting talents relatively earlier than others.

I had high hopes because I was told that I had a talent for acting.

However, it ended there, period.

The fire took away everything from me.

The people forgot about me in the blink of an eye just as my appearance changed.

The child actor Jihoon Seo’s career stopped right then.

And the life of a human, Jihoon Seo, began from that point on.

I only talked about the tragedies of the past, but I am doing fine now.

Although I had to fold my dream of becoming an actor, I watched every drama series and movie.  I still like all those, and they are my only friends.

Of course, I can’t throw away my opinions, albeit useless, thinking about how I would act differently if I were that character.  The reason why I keep having the same nightmare is that I longed to become an actor still.

Some star I would be!  I can’t even go outside without a hat and a mask to hide my ugly scars.

 

“The air is chilly.”

I left home early.

The early dawn in the slum area is quiet.

Although it was always quiet lately, it lost more activities because of the redevelopment.

Now, the area is half empty of houses and people.

Well, it is somewhat good that it is serene.

I no longer have to listen to any hushed voices about me behind my back.

My workplace is a book and video rental place located in the next town below.

It is the only rental store in the area.

I am the only employee.

It is a small store, but it is my very precious workplace.

There aren’t many places that would hire me.

Firstly, I cannot even dream of working for a service field, and

even at hard labor construction sites, I was often scorned, saying that my grotesque face makes them lose their appetite.

If it weren’t for the owner of this store, I might have moved away from here long ago.

I cleaned and organized the store spotless, but the store attracts only flies and, again, not a soul.

That’s only natural since there aren’t many people living here anymore.

In the meantime, I got on the internet

At least at work, I could use the computer.

I participate at a famous movie community site.

I regularly upload columns about drama series or movies.

I am a freelance critic who is somewhat trusted and recognized.

My writing was merely a tool for self-consolation to suppress the intense inner longings.

As the sun was setting slowly, the store door opened.

Is it a first customer?  It wasn’t.

“Hi, Boss.”

I greeted an elderly-looking middle-aged man in overstretched workout suits.

He is Panseok Cho, who owns this store and is my savior.

“Were there any customers?”

“Not really,” I answered.

“I see.”

His visit to the store, if short, daily, if long, once every few days, only comprise of a brief conversation resorting like this. 

“So, it is,” he repeated.

However, something was a little different about him today.

He started to walk around the whole store with an inexplicable look in his eyes.

“I had worked for so long in this store.”  He muttered.

“That’s because you had this store ever since I was young.”

“That’s right.  When I first saw you, I thought you were going to die immediately.  How would I have known that little boy would be here.”  The boss chuckled softly as he reminisced the old days.

"Hey, take off your mask, at least in front of me."  He always says that to me.

“No, thanks.  I am comfortable like this.”  I also give him the same answer as always.

“You..a liar…!  So, have you eaten?”

“Gimbap and Ramen, as usual.”  I lied to get his nagging off my back.

“Try to eat well.  Skinny as a bone!”

He must have something to say to me by the way he was nagging about.

He quickly turned away his gaze and spoke quietly.

“….I am sorry.”

“Of what?”

Instead of answering, he swallows and wets his lips.

I instantly knew that finally, the time had come.

Even though there had been no customers, he was a boss who insisted on paying me.

Of course, it is about time that would weigh him down.

“The store has been sold.”

The boss turned and glanced briefly at my frozen gaze, then took out a cigarette and bit it.

“I put it up for sale due to my wife’s constant nagging, but I did not expect it to be sold this quickly.  Redevelopment, whatever that is."

He drew a long puff from the cigarette and added,

“Let’s open only till this week.  I will still pay you for the full month.  Look for another job while resting.  I am really……to say this suddenly…..”

“No, boss.”

I quickly shook my head.

“Thanks to you, boss.  Do you know how many books I was able to read and watch so many movies for free?  From the beginning, if it weren’t for you, I would have starved and not lived well like this so far.”

I was sincere.

No matter how shocking this was, a person should not be without conscience.

I immediately jumped up and bowed to him.

“I really thank you for everything thus far, boss.”

“Bastard…”

He swiftly turned his back, feigning some dry coughing.  But I already saw his trembling eyes turning red.

“I am leaving.  Take all the money in the cash register and go buy yourself a chicken or something.”

He did not turn around.

He is genuinely a nice man to the end.

And that is that…but,

"Now, what can I do to earn a living?"

Even though this was expected, when the reality hit, the shock did not lessen.

I became unemployed.

However, this was not the end of my suffering.

Soon, there will come a moment to give up the one-room space where I live now.

Then, I will truly be penniless and homeless.

Right now, my life is more than qualified to be at the bottom of the poverty rating,  yet, it seems that there is even a lower place to go down than now. 

Life is genuinely weary.

Before going home, I took a DVD.

Today is an action movie.

On days like today, where it is stressful, there is nothing better than an action movie, watching crashing and breaking everything.

“One week…”

My footsteps walking up the hill are heavier than usual.

These days people say that there are many homeless people, even those in their twenties.

‘If nothing else, should I become a beggar?’

‘No, that is not acceptable.’

As I was walking, I saw a wagon full of trash boxes crawling up the hill.

An old man with bent back was taking labored wobbly steps

When I saw that struggling old and frail man trying to earn a living so hard on his own, I chastised myself, so young and healthy, to be thinking an easy way out like a coward.

However, that old man was too wobbly as if he was going to collapse soon.

“Let me help you!”

I quickly ran up the hill.

I push the wagon slowly.

“You don’t have to…..thank you.”

I kept up the pace slow along with the footsteps of the old man whose voice could be barely heard.

‘Are there still old people left here to gather the trash boxes?  I thought they all left.’

At that, his face was unfamiliar.  So, it was not my concern.

However, what bothered me was the old man’s frail hunchback.

I never could ignore and pass by older people without offering to help because they reminded me of my grandmother.  She also used to gather the trash boxes and papers off the streets so she could buy me at least buy one bun with cream for me, her poor orphaned grandson.

When I first came to live with my grandmother, I didn’t eat nor speak.  I was still under the shock of suddenly losing my parents and barely recovering from the burn trauma.  The tragic upheaval of his reality with my dream destroyed was too much to endure for me at such young age.

But I used to stare at my grandmother’s arduous struggle, dragging the wagon up the hill to feed me.  Her dedication and love eventually got me to get back on my feet.  After her death, some goodhearted people like Mr. Cho helped me to sustain a living.  I felt a deep pang at the old man’s feebly pulling the wagon.

“Sir, where are you going?”

At my questioning, the old man pointed his hand.

“Over the hill the town behind.”

It was a long way to go.  I hadn’t eaten anything.

And the wagon was heavier than expected.

‘Why the hell did this old man load so much on this?’

“It is heavy, isn’t it?  You can stop now.”

The old man said as if he read my mind.

Startled, I was taken aback, and so I quickly changed the subject.

“No, it is okay, but what’s all this you have loaded so much here?  Books?”

The wagon was loaded mostly with books, very old ones with a strong mildew smell.

‘No wonder it is so heavy.’  I thought.

The old man strangely grinned and answered.

“They are not ordinary books.  These are very rare treasures.”

‘Treasures, my butt.’  The books appeared so old that just by touching, they would crumble into dust.’

However, I said I would help, so I decided to go all the way with him.

We climbed another hill and then some more before he finally came to a stop.

"Thank you so much.  I didn't expect you actually to come all the way to the end.  I appreciate it,” he said.

“Don’t mention it.  I will be on my way, then.”

I waved my hand and turned around to leave.

“Hold on, hold on a minute,” he stopped me.

“I’m about to have dinner.  Why don’t you join me?”

I turned to look at the old man’s house.  It was an old shack with a small yard.

I didn’t need to go inside to know his financial situation

"I've already eaten.  This was a good exercise for me, so please don’t mind me,” I said.

“But still….,” he mumbled, then suddenly clapped as if a brilliant idea just popped into his head.

“Right!  Hold on a moment!”  Then, before I could say anything, he dashed into the house.

‘Is he the same old guy who looked on the verge of collapsing?’

The old man then soon ran back out with something in his arms.

“Let me give you this, at least,” he said.

My eyes narrowed as I scanned what was in his arms.

"It's an ancient book.  It is a really rare and invaluable book.  Take it."

I did not want to take that book.  Not only did I have no use for it, but the cover had scribbles of Chinses characters that I couldn’t even read.  But looking at his twinkling eyes full of excitement, I couldn’t bring myself to say no. 

“Alright, thank you.”  I ended up taking the book.

“Well, then.  Let me buy you a drink the next time we meet,” he said.

“Sounds good,” I said, although I wondered if I would ever see him again.

He appeared somewhat peculiar to me.  There was something oddly frightening about him, too.

I could see the old man still staring at me when I glanced back as I was walking.

I couldn't shake off that irksome feeling.  But I still ended up bringing the book back home.

“What on earth does this say?”  I muttered as I studied the cover of the book.  It was too old and frayed to even recognize the faded Chinese characters.  He could not read any of it, as inside the pages were also written in Chinese characters.

‘Oh, this mildew smell!’ he frowned.

“I will just use it as a hot pad,” I said to myself, then turned my focus to dinner.  I was about to starve to death.

I hurriedly cooked ramen and turned on the DVD I had brought.

It was “Hyul-soo-ra,” an old martial arts movie where the protagonist single-handedly slays countless warriors to avenge his lover.  The fighting scenes were well choreographed, and the director did a pretty good job overall, too.  ‘But it would have been better if he could convey an ounce of longing and sadness even when he was about to slay his enemies,’  I thought.

It was all to avenge his lover, after all. 

This comes from my old habit of criticizing the movie of the day.  That habit has

helped me a lot in writing my columns.

‘Okay.  Since I have thought of it, I might as well organize the comments on the columns tomorrow.’

With that as my last thought, I lay on the floor.

It was a hard day in many aspects.

My eyelids felt very heavy, as if tons of steel were on them.

And then, that night,

I had a strange dream.

The room was full of golden-colored fog.

It was an unrealistic setting.

Something twinkled in the fog.

They were the Chinese sentences in golden colors.

I could not read the sentences, but they appeared like a magical mirage

In the fog, they were appearing and disappearing in repetition.

Soon, the sand started to swirl then, like the water flowing down the drain,

it was sapped into my nose and mouth.

Then my body blew up like a balloon that was about to explode.

“Bang!”

A loud bang exploded inside my body.

Everything I saw around me was turning round and round.

My whole body felt hot, as if burning.

“Boom!”

The ceaseless, continuing loud sounds and vibration shook my whole body.

Like panorama, the golden Chinese characters in front of me covered all my views.

The golden-colored lights flashed, causing my dizziness.

Eventually, the views plunged into the darkness.

“……..!”

I opened my eyes.

My whole body was soaked with cold sweat this morning again.

‘What the heck is this kind of dream this time?’

I felt as if some apocalypse occurred within my body.

I was blinking my eyes, and then immediately, I froze like a rock.

[Good to see you, the Opener.]

They were black characters.

At that - cursive fonts!

The problem was that they were floating right under my view.  Like subtitles on a movie screen!

“…….”

I moved my eyes.

The characters, smoothly, followed in the direction of my eyes naturally.

[You are in possession of the unlimited extraordinary treasure.  You are a lucky person to get a chance to have your grand dreams come true.]

"…………..."

As I was staring at the serious letters, I stood up, pretending to be all right by scratching my stomach.

“Oh, I slept without cleaning up the Ramen.”

I grabbed the pot.

The moving character letters slowly disappeared.

Is it the end?

[Opener, give me your answer.]

Oh, my God!

I bit my lower lips once and began doing the dishes.

I must not answer.

Why?

Because I feel like I finally am losing my mind.

In this town, there were quite a few looney people.

I remembered very clearly about them as I overheard their conversation with the elderly neighbors.

“No matter what you might see or hear, you must never be sucked in.  See over there

Choon-seop?  Every day he tries to grab something in the air.  You are an old lady, too.  So, be careful.  Do you understand?”

 

“Oh my, look who is talking?  You are the one who drinks every day, so you should be the one to be careful.  Don't go crazy, unable to distinguish what’s unreal.”

This is a town where many are poor without any hopes.

I am also the same.

I only live for today's life of loneliness.

On top of that, now I have lost my job and will lose my place, so it should not be strange at all if I am losing my mind.

[The Opener.   Heaven's Grace has shone down on you.  Do not refuse.]

‘Why are these in ancient writing in cursive fonts after all?  Could it be because I watched the old Martial Arts movie?’

At least I am not hallucinating the sounds but just seeing things because all I have to do is ignore them.

[Opener, please answer.]

‘Just ignore it.  Ignore.’

[Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener, Opener.]

'Oh, my God.  This is so scary!  I am getting goosebumps!  What is this?  Is this some kind of an attack of the movie subtitle villain?’

I shook my head and headed toward the bathroom.

[Really!  Can't you see this?  It is definitely written in sequence]

While I was urinating, the sentences continued.

I tried to ignore them as much as possible and stood in front of the mirror.

As soon as my face was reflected in the mirror, I jumped in shock.

[What the fuck!  You startled me!]

‘……….That’s a writing of cursing, isn’t it?’  I asked myself.

I lifted my eyebrows. 

Am I losing my mind where I even get cursed for my looks in hallucination, also?

[Ha Ha Ha.  The Opener.  Looking at your face, I could fathom all your difficult life's journey so far.  Ha Ha Ha.]

The words got written at an incredible speed.

Anyone could tell it was trying to make up for the initial rude outburst at my face if this was real.

I clacked my tongue and grabbed a toothbrush.

[However, didn’t you just raise your eyebrows?  I saw you.  If you are offended….]

The apologetic writings continued for a while.

 

***

The store was quiet with no customers today, also.

[A very critical reviews again.  However, what does o z mean?]

‘I didn’t mean that the quietness included me.]

First of all, I decided to call the writing 'the Subtitle' because I continued to see them.

[The world has changed but having good manners seem to continue.  People are sending their regards to the parents.]

‘It’s a new slang called “padrip."    I suppressed my impulse to reply to the 'Subtitle' that he got it wrong because it was actually rude to the parents.

I was reading all the comments left in my column.  The Subtitle was very wordy, unlike its serious tone initially.

It was scribbling as if it was studying something.

Even though I was trying to ignore them, it drove me crazy because I could not help but keep reading the subtitles.

‘Is this the process that every crazy person goes through before losing the mind?'

However, there was a vague hunch in the corner of my mind.

I thought about that old man I met yesterday.

I found out that the old book he gave me disappeared without a trace when I cleaned up this morning.

I clearly remembered that I used it as the hot pad when I had Ramen noodles yesterday.

Of course, no one stole it.

It is a one-in-a-million possibility, but if I am not crazy, I wondered if this is because of that old book.

I thought the mystery of disappearance would be solved if I went back and asked the old man.

[However, aren’t you still not going to answer me?  I already know that you are watching me.]

‘Until I meet that old man, I will continue to ignore the Subtitle, no matter what it writes.’

[It seems unless I show you a sign, it appears that you are not going to speak with me.  Then…]

The Subtitle began to roll like a wave as if it decided to show something.

[Would you change your mind if I reconstruct that face of yours?]

I suddenly stopped my finger that was rolling the mouse wheel.

“Reconstructing?  My face?”

[Of course, there will be a certain pain will follow, but if you take an irreversible oath with me, it is not impossible.]

“……….”

I gulped without realizing it.

‘Is this what’s called the temptation of the madness?’

Even though I knew that was impossible, my desire to answer began to overtake me.

‘If I could get my face back.’

It was playing on my desperate wish not to be handsome but at least to become normal like anyone else.

[Definitely, your life will change considerably.  Trust me, at least for once.]

The Subtitle seemed to whisper sweetly.

I bit my lower lip hard enough to be painful.

‘Focus, Jihoon Seo!  Hold on to your sanity!’ I told myself.

This can’t be real.  The reality is not like a movie.

“……….It can’t be.”

I was so dumbfounded that I blurted out loud.

I stood in front of the old man’s house.

But the house was completely empty, and I was bewildered.

I felt like I just confirmed my inkling that the old man was just a hallucination from the beginning.

I grabbed my head.

The world spun around me.

From where and from what point was real?

“Excuse me, but are you okay?”

I lifted my head at a sharp outcry.

“Why are you standing there like that?”

It was a middle-aged woman with her arms crossed standing a bit far away from him.

She seemed suspicious of him.

I had on a mask with a hat in the middle of the night, so apparently, I looked suspicious.

“Do you know since when this house has been empty, by any chance?”

I tried to calm my trembling voice and asked politely.

“About three years?  Why?  Did you know the old man who lived there?”

‘Old man?’

I gulped and asked again.

“By any chance, are you talking about the old man who gathered papers and old books for recycling?”

“Yes, that’s right.  He used to collect strange things.  He had collected mountains of books.”

“Then, the old man looked like….”

I used my hands to describe the old man.

"Yes, that seems to describe him, but why?  Are you his grandson or something?"

I was at a loss for words.

How could I explain this?

“Why, did you see a ghost or something?”

“What?”

“Well, there was a rumor that the old man’s ghost was going around here pulling a wagon.”

Oh my God!  I was scared to death.

The woman who was gazing at me frowned.

“Is it….really, is it that?”

I barely shook my head.

"No, no.  How could it be?  I just met him once, and I came by to see how he was."

I quickly bowed and dashed off.

The world around me still seemed to spin. 

‘A Ghost.  That old man was a ghost!’

I felt like I suddenly got dropped into a strange world.

I faltered and eventually plopped down against a wall in the street corner.

[We call this fate.  Ha Ha Ha]

The Subtitle appeared imposing itself.

I looked up at the night sky.

The sky was without any clouds.

The view seemed to clear, and I could see better.

I told myself to do a supposition.

‘If that old man is really a ghost, and if all this is happening because of that old book, and if all these strange things are really happening to me.’

“Ha Ha.”  A silly laugh came out of me.

'I have nothing to lose in this situation.  I am an ugly man, unemployed, and soon to be homeless.  To that, add one more, a crazy man.  That won't change anything.'

“Really.”

I spat out the words softly.

“Can you really fix my face?”

[There is a condition, but it can be done.]

The Subtitle all of a sudden disappeared.

Then, it scribbled something really fast as it continued.

[You, were you just talking to me?]

“Yes, so answer me.  Can you or can you not fix my face?”

I spoke a little louder.

A minute of silence.

[Yes. I can.  But why are you only now answering?  It is not even enough to bow down and thank Heaven.]

I stood up.

I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing.

“Okay.  Then, I will listen to what that condition of yours is.”

“Tell me, exactly who are you?”

I spoke again only after I got home.

I didn’t want to be seen talking to myself like a lunatic.

 

[I am your Master and a Guide who has been sealed in the Innumerable Truth & Miracle Book (‘Miracle Book) who will connect you to Heaven's Truth and Miracle.

“In other words, you are a ghost, to put it easily.”

[You lack in learning.]

“Why did you choose me?”

[Heaven has chosen you.]

"You talk as if you and the Heaven are separate.]

[I am just a small piece tied to Heaven with an oath, and Heaven is a grandmaster of truth who can help you reach toward your dream.  It is a fortune one in a million.]

‘It is a smooth talker.  I can smell it.  A smell of a fraud.’

He is the one who trespassed into my body without my permission.

Ten, the Subtitle directly asked me a question.

[What is your dream?]

‘Dream?’

I stiffened at that moment.

[I am asking you what your dream is?]

Suddenly, I recollected my nightmare.

It reflected my subconsciousness.

There was one that was always left in the deepest part of me, something that I couldn’t realize.

“Top star….”

My lips moved first.

“It was….”

I flushed red in embarrassment.

[Top star?  It is hard for me to understand, but….okay.]

The Subtitle paused.

Suddenly, I felt something heavy in my stomach.

[Can you give an oath to the Innumerable Truth and Miracle Master in Heaven?  You must promise to realize your dream.]

‘He keeps displaying words like Irrevocable Oath, Promise.’

I am the type who does not believe in a one-way sweet offer.

“Are you saying that there is no other condition other than giving my oath to realize my dream?”

[Of course not.]

‘Just as I expected!  Unless asked on point, it is not explained.’

[You must keep your irrevocable oath.  If you violate it, you will lose everything that Heaven's Master has given you.]

"Can you explain to me more in detail?  What constitutes a violation of the oath?"

[Becoming lazy or giving up before you reach your dream….]

“Then, the person who judges that would be you?]

[Heaven's Master evaluates everything.]

I stared at the Subtitle for a minute.

‘To summarize, it means that the condition is only one.  It is to reach the goal.  If I stop or give up before realizing it, I will lose everything.  What is this, really?’

“……….It is a deal that one cannot refuse.”

‘Is this for real?’

The condition for getting an opportunity to go for my dream is not to give up my dream.

[Can you promise that you will reach your dream?]

I nodded.

“I promise.”

Silence.

Eventually, the heaviness I felt in my stomach started to become hotter.

“Oh, my God!”

I gasped and plopped down.

My stomach felt as if I swallowed lava and burned.

The heat spread out to other parts of my body.

This was crazy, but this was not a dream.

[The Irrevocable Oath has been established.]

My vision became blurry, but I could see the Subtitles very clearly.

Then, soon, incredible heat devoured me.

[The Opener, are you conscious?]

The blurred vision soon became brighter, and I could be better.

 

‘That’s right.  I fainted.’

I lifted myself up.

Something powdery stuff fell off my face.

“What is this?”

‘Why do I have dried fish scales like this all over my face?’

I also felt something very sticky.

My clothes were drenched in some sticky blackish liquid.

“Puke!”

I smelled a terrible stench.

‘Did I shit on myself when I fainted?’

I brushed the dry powdery scales off my face.

[You are in a state of metamorphosis.  You now have a new body.]

The Subtitles continued, and I froze.

“What is this?”

As I was brushing off the powder from my face, I noticed it was very soft.

This is not the same touch I used to feel, rough and twisted scars.

I got up hurriedly.  Although I could smell even more stench, I did not pay any attention and just ran to the bathroom.

When I stood in front of the mirror, I was shocked.

“Oh, my God!”

It was someone I didn’t recognize.

My mouth was opened, and my eyes were wide.

As I moved my eyeballs, so did the man in the mirror.

The face was free of any scars, and the skin was milky white.

The face had a perfect balance with fine lines.

I took my hands to touch the face.

“How can this be?”

Is this really my face?

“Innumerable Truth and Miracle – what is it really?”

With trembling voice, I asked.

[That is something that I haven't been able to solve myself.]

The Subtitle slowly continued.

[I believe that many people were chosen by the Master of Innumerable Truth and Miracle in Heaven.  And most of them probably left their fame in some period of history.]

“……….”

I couldn’t say anything.

I just kept confirming the miracle that happened to me over and over.

[You can express your happiness just a little.]

The Subtitle stated as if to tease me.

[From now on, a new life will be opened to you, too.]

“……Thank you so much.”

My lips moved automatically.

My eyes were filled with tears.

I felt so overwhelmed that I felt like my heart would burst.

‘Please, please don’t let this be a dream.  Please do not let me be crazy.’

I just didn’t want this to be a hallucination.

“I truly thank you.  Really.”

I was sobbing.

From somewhere deep inside me, inexplicable emotions brought up sadness that I had suppressed for so long.

I was so lonely and weary, but I told myself that was normal and expected.

I stood in front of the mirror and cried for a long time.

[Are you all done crying?  Then, why don’t you wash up because the stench is giving me a headache.]

I nodded as I wiped away the tears.

‘Yes.  Let’s wash them all away.  And start a new life!’

 

***

The last day at work.

“Take them with you.”

My boss gave me a boxful of DVDs that were displayed at the store.

“What are these?”

“It’s your severance pay.  If you need anything else, take more.  I plan to sell off in the flea market anyways.

It was so kind of him.

His boss had already paid me a whole month of pay which was enough.

“Thanks, boss.”

“It’s nothing.  By the way, you seem taller.”

“Ha Ha.  How could I?”

“At your new job, be sure to stand tall just like now.  Be confident.  Remember to eat well.”

The boss tried to encourage me, even to the end.

He is one of the people that I plan to repay for all his kindness.

The next day, the landlord called, asking me to vacate the room.

She gave me ten days to move out.

It turned out better for me.  I immediately start to pack.

It took five large boxes to pack.

Those were all I had after living in this rooftop attic room for most of my life.

Even if I count all those that I had to throw away, it is not much.

It seemed that reflected my life up to so far – not much of a life.

[You are so busy.]

“I feel very light.”

These days, my day has become very long.

I only needed to sleep about four hours.

I do a workout early in the morning to strengthen my muscles and watch movies.

I still had enough time leftover.

I felt so energized.

[That’s probably because all toxins in your previous body have been eliminated during the process of metamorphosis by the miracle performed by the Master.]

“Huh?  Is that what happened?”

[Didn’t you know?  You are new, like a newborn baby.”

Then, all that stench was from the toxins in my body?

"So, it's not just my face that changed."

That made sense, just like the metamorphosis explained in the martial arts novels.

[You still haven’t fully experienced the Master’s miracles.]

The Master has been silent since, so I wasn't even thinking about him.

According to the Subtitle, the Master would be giving me help when I need it.

I have experienced a miracle thoroughly enough as is.

And I had a lot to do.

[By the way, why are you still wearing that hat and the mask?]

The Subtitle pointed that out.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“If they see me changed into a new person, they will be too shocked.”

‘Even I haven’t gotten used to my new looks.’

I still have some doubt whether this is still my hallucinating.

[So, are you planning to go around like that?]

“No way.”

I added as I put on my shoes.

“Starting from today, I plan to go out without it.”

[You seem to have a plan.]

“Because I have given my oath.”

I took a deep breath as I held onto the doorknob.

'This is the first day of my bare face without the mask.'

I have never gone without the mask and the hat ever since the fire.

My heart started to beat very fast.

“I have to reach my dream.”

I turned the doorknob and opened the door at once.

The sunlight felt really good.

I clenched my fists and took a step forward.

It was my first step toward my new life.